Irish Insanity
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I can't imagine that situation being easy. But, when you walk in to a situation eyes wide open, you can't hold that against them. Keep your chin up, things will get better.
Well, today was awful.
- Thread starter dre1919
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I can't imagine that situation being easy. But, when you walk in to a situation eyes wide open, you can't hold that against them. Keep your chin up, things will get better.
Quinntastic
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Sorry to hear that, dre. It sounds like you've had one hell of a bad year. My heart goes out to you. I'm pouring a little bit of snapple out for you right now.
Not really. I hate snapple.
But still. I'm thinking of you.
Not really. I hate snapple.
But still. I'm thinking of you.
DogDaysIrish
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Chin up, Brah... You've got a lot going your way with the kids and your degree+profession. If your ex-missus falters, she's back to taxi dancing for Georges. You're doing fine. Not your problem anymore. Keep us updated man...
ulukinatme
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Haha, well said.
JughedJones
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This might sound stupid, because I'm a hippie telling you to listen to something.
This is important.
<iframe width="854" height="510" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/luAqu8VX5wo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Seriously. Listen to the whole thing (preferably with herb, but not necessarily,) then get back to us.
It's helped a lot of people, maybe you're next.
This is important.
<iframe width="854" height="510" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/luAqu8VX5wo" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>
Seriously. Listen to the whole thing (preferably with herb, but not necessarily,) then get back to us.
It's helped a lot of people, maybe you're next.
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dre1919
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Thank you everyone. I'm still getting used to the little things like not wearing my ring anymore. It's odd...this time last year I was heading down to Houston to secure considerably better employment than here (and I did), anxiously awaiting my family meeting up with me. Now, a year later, I'm divorced. My wife and I had been going to counseling at her behest, but ultimately, she just didn't want to be married anymore I think.
She been a victim of several abuses in her life starting from 5 years old and through until she met me and her demons would sometimes haunt her but this time they didn't go away. Or, maybe she just likes playing the victim and it's excuse. Either way, you can either let the past decide who and what you're going to be or you can have the courage to not let your past destroy your future. Obviously, she chose the latter.
I think the fact she dropped out of high school and gave up her chance to go to college (she had a full ride and chose to go with her abusive, douche bag ex-boyfriend before we met) really impacted her. She didn't get the opportunity to live her 20's all that much but that's her own fault. Her excuse. She chose to get with me, she chose to get married, she chose to have children and she chose to buy a house. Sometimes, you just gotta walk the walk and when you pick the path, halfway down it you can't just bail. That isn't what adults do, to say nothing of good parents. She's being as selfish as she can be because our 4 and 5 year olds need us, and you better believe that I would do ANYTHING, even spend years trying to make it work with her, for them.
We go from having no problems I know of when I left to her being emotionally broken, cold and just finished with our relationship in eight months? Especially when I'm out of town for a good portion of that time? It's a damn good thing I wasn't in the military and she would have to move...I don't know what she would have done. Divorce me then again too I guess. Whatever happened to commitment? She must have been absent the day they taught that.
What she will find in her travels to come is something she should already know. People in the world do not give a shit about other people and that the grass is never greener than your own lawn if you choose to put the work in. Right now, she's living in a house her Grandmother paid for, driving a car her Grandmother paid for, using a complete home furnishing that her Grandmother paid for, going to college full-time being paid for by her Grandmother, being visited by her Grandmother and Uncle daily so they can "check" on her.
That to me is no way to live and certainly not the actions of a strong, independent adult person who has two children to raise. What type of example does that set? Take the easy way, we're lucky enough to have a rich relative? F*** a whole lot of that...you earn what you get so you appreciate it more. Hard work and sacrifice pay off. I don't want some old a**hole telling me how to live my life, so I fell out of favor with her benefactor. So she played a large role in splitting us up by being an enabler. She is what karma is for. But, ultimately, it's my ex-wife's fault for not standing by her man. I've never done anything but treat her like a queen and she'll find that lacking when the going gets tough again.
She been a victim of several abuses in her life starting from 5 years old and through until she met me and her demons would sometimes haunt her but this time they didn't go away. Or, maybe she just likes playing the victim and it's excuse. Either way, you can either let the past decide who and what you're going to be or you can have the courage to not let your past destroy your future. Obviously, she chose the latter.
I think the fact she dropped out of high school and gave up her chance to go to college (she had a full ride and chose to go with her abusive, douche bag ex-boyfriend before we met) really impacted her. She didn't get the opportunity to live her 20's all that much but that's her own fault. Her excuse. She chose to get with me, she chose to get married, she chose to have children and she chose to buy a house. Sometimes, you just gotta walk the walk and when you pick the path, halfway down it you can't just bail. That isn't what adults do, to say nothing of good parents. She's being as selfish as she can be because our 4 and 5 year olds need us, and you better believe that I would do ANYTHING, even spend years trying to make it work with her, for them.
We go from having no problems I know of when I left to her being emotionally broken, cold and just finished with our relationship in eight months? Especially when I'm out of town for a good portion of that time? It's a damn good thing I wasn't in the military and she would have to move...I don't know what she would have done. Divorce me then again too I guess. Whatever happened to commitment? She must have been absent the day they taught that.
What she will find in her travels to come is something she should already know. People in the world do not give a shit about other people and that the grass is never greener than your own lawn if you choose to put the work in. Right now, she's living in a house her Grandmother paid for, driving a car her Grandmother paid for, using a complete home furnishing that her Grandmother paid for, going to college full-time being paid for by her Grandmother, being visited by her Grandmother and Uncle daily so they can "check" on her.
That to me is no way to live and certainly not the actions of a strong, independent adult person who has two children to raise. What type of example does that set? Take the easy way, we're lucky enough to have a rich relative? F*** a whole lot of that...you earn what you get so you appreciate it more. Hard work and sacrifice pay off. I don't want some old a**hole telling me how to live my life, so I fell out of favor with her benefactor. So she played a large role in splitting us up by being an enabler. She is what karma is for. But, ultimately, it's my ex-wife's fault for not standing by her man. I've never done anything but treat her like a queen and she'll find that lacking when the going gets tough again.
JughedJones
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Live and learn!
ulukinatme
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I really hate that excuse, I realize it's hers. I've heard this one before, and I think it's bullshit. You DO make a choice if you settled down at a young age, or if you decide you want to pass on college after high school, or you bought a home young, whatever. It's rare that your arm is twisted into such decisions. Even if there's financial barriers you can typically circumvent them if you're willing to put the work in. It's selfish, immature, and a cop out in my opinion. I had a couple crazy years in college in my 20s, but it was fairly low key and I took responsibilities on soon after. Do I regret missing out on some of that time? Maybe, but I made a choice and you can't just shirk responsibilities like that. You're right, the grass is really never greener than your own yard, but people often don't want to put the work in. They'd rather just move.
Quinntastic
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I'm sure I'm not the first to think of this, but I'll at least put it out there.
Is there a chance that she could have been fooling around behind your back while you were out of town? Seems fishy that you'd go from having 'no problems' to 'divorced' in 8 months, when you were gone for the majority of that time, without some major outside factor (ie someone on the side) pushing her in that direction.
I know it's a really sensitive time for you, but I just wanted to throw it out there as a possibility...
irishff1014
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Dude this blows. I am sorry to hear this. Keep your head up i know that's gotta be hard to do.
ulukinatme
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Sure sounds like bullshit. She complained that she didn't get to enjoy her 20s, now this, who knows what it'll be tomorrow. She's throwing out excuses to take the focus off her. Ultimately, this was her decision, she's trying to deflect from that by giving excuses and not feel like the bad guy. Maybe it's just me, I dunno.
Irish Insanity
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^deflection. It's easier than admitting your own faults or opening up amd admitting the truth to the other person and yourself. It's a staple in today's society it seems.
DogDaysIrish
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Deflection is ALWAYS easier when kids are involved and the easiest way to place blame... Now they'll be used as a poker chip in the game of life. What a pity.
Irish Insanity
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Dre1919 seems to have his head on straight. He'll be smart enough to avoid it if it gets to that.
Veritate Duce Progredi
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I had tears in my eyes reading this. I hope Dre finds peace on the other side of the veil.
NDinL.A.
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Two years later...how the hell did you find this thread?
Hope things are better, dre. I would imagine they are, as time usually heals and good things happen to good people.
calvegas04
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Sherm Sticky
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Heart breaking didn't realize his children were so young.
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ulukinatme
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This sucks so much. Just a week ago it looks like he was seeing his favorite band in concert and having a great time. Cancer sucks, so not fair. This guy had been through enough. He'll be missed.
TheRealLynch51
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It still amazes me to this day that some people that are complete pieces are crap are able to walk the earth freely and have very little bad happen to them, but when someone who seems to be a good guy recovers from a heartache like divorce, his time is cut short. Life can be fucked at times.