I imagine it goes something like this:
Tuscaloosa, Alabama
After beating Virgina Tech in the Georgia Dome on Saturday night Alabama has claimed it's 16th National Championship. Coach Nick Saban said, "Well you know clearly Virgina Tech is an outstanding team and we just felt like the guys deserved to be recognized as National Champions." When asked about the rest of the season Saban had this to say, "Oh well we don't worry about that. Perhaps we'll claim another title by the end of the year. But even if we don't actually win the championship this year the Alabama record books will forever hold 2013 as a championship year."
Alabama sophomore running Back T.J. Yeldon had this to say, "Me run fast. Me score, we win!" He then beat his chest and drew this artistic rendering of the win:
It should be noted that T.J. Yeldon was chosen to speak by his teammates because of his "eloquent way with words."
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I imagine the article going something like that.