Need advice and help

Status
Not open for further replies.
ACamp1900

ACamp1900

Counting my ‘bet against ND’ winnings
Messages
48,946
Reaction score
11,225
big daddy said:
When I was in college in Santa Barbara, California I met many girls that liked the " Bad Boys" ' because they saw it as challenge. When asked why they liked these guys some would say " they could change them", but that never occurred. Take it from experience there are plenty of women out there. One day you will find the lady of your deams that doesn't come with any baggage.
Click to expand...

Amen brotha
 
B

BLUETHUNDER

New member
Messages
37
Reaction score
3
My Irishenvy guys I want to say thanks for all the advice and help you gave me. now lets get back to talking some ND football and recruiting.
 
S

stonebreakerwasgod

LMI steals vbucks
Messages
7,295
Reaction score
623
Damn, I wanted to get my two cents in. I think all the advice given has merit. Especially the part where she could stomp all over you just when you think she has committed to you. I think I would tread lightly, not allowing yourself to get too emotionally invested with her. If she is the right one for you, at some point, she will figure that out and not put you through this b.s.
 
IRISHDODGER

IRISHDODGER

Blue Chip Recruit
Messages
8,044
Reaction score
6,108
ACamp1900 said:
Blue Thunder, I speak from experience... ditch her... if you have been honest with the above post and "he" really is an ass... she is at the age where she prob. WANTS to be misstreated, if you get together with her she'll only hurt you...

THIS RULE NEVER FAILS... espec. in regards to college aged women... all the older posters here I'm sure will agree with me...

don't mess with this broad... just stay friends until she grows up if YOU really want a serious thing, and yes that could take YEARS... if you just want "it"... get it and bail... either way I have seen this case a thousand times, EVERY time the girl isn't ready and ends up crushing the guy... I have seen it with friends, enemies and have experienced it personally... it never changes/fails
Click to expand...

He makes some good points to keep in mind. I hate to be cynical, but my first instince after reading your post was the same thing ACamp said. Hope I'm wrong for your sake, but you don't want to get a chick who's into playing head games, so I'd play it cool & let whatever happens happen. Then if it looks like it's over w/ the other dude, you can reevaluate the situation. good luck.
 
GoshenGipper

GoshenGipper

Rest In Peace
Messages
7,946
Reaction score
394
I agree with most of the posters on here for this subject especially ACamp, NDBCSChamps, and big daddy. I have a feeling that you won't listen to us anyway because it seems like all men are either mean jerks like the guy in the story, or stupid idiot nice guys that keep getting our hearts broken (I'm the latter), but when it happens and it probably will it's going to hurt and it'll hurt bad so good luck.
 
P

portlaNDgal

salmonid
Messages
398
Reaction score
34
Sh*t, I had a whole long reply and it got lost. I'll try to summarize....

Hope it's OK to add the female perspective. Logic would seem to say that she would ditch the loser and be with the guy who is loving and respectful. Unfortunately, neither men nor women can be accused of logic when it comes to matters of the heart.

I volunteered at domestic violence shelters for several years, and it still surprises me how many women returned to men who treated them horribly and endangered their lives. Abusive relationships follow a cycle of tension buildup, followed by the abusive event (be it physical or otherwise), followed by an apology by the abuser, and then a honeymoon period where everything is OK. The honeymoon is the most insidious part of the abuse IMO b/c it convinces the victim that everything will be OK. The honeymoon, coupled with the low self esteem brought about by the abuse, makes it hard to leave.

I have a good friend who spent 5 years on and off with a guy who abused her. It baffled all her friends, b/c she was successful, smart, and an excellent athlete/outdoorswoman. But she stuck with this guy who treated her like sh*t b/c she "saw the good in him." (I always had Luke Skywalker flashbacks when she said that.)

Bottom line, she will need a lot of confidence to overcome her feelings for this guy and ditch him. I'll pray that she has the courage to do what's right for her.
 
GoshenGipper

GoshenGipper

Rest In Peace
Messages
7,946
Reaction score
394
Hope it's OK to add the female perspective. Logic would seem to say that she would ditch the loser and be with the guy who is loving and respectful. Unfortunately, neither men nor women can be accused of logic when it comes to matters of the heart.
Click to expand...

AMEN to that!
 
U

UNTITLEDPROJECT

Guest
BLUETHUNDER said:
Allright guys I got a girl problem and I need some advice. Here is story and any advice is much appreciated.

this girl at my college has had a little crush on me (according to her friends who I am really good friends with also). I did not really think anything of it because she had a boy friend of two years. But then they kinda took a break, but then a few weeks later they are back together. However, her friends say the guy is a really ass to her sometimes. well over the last two or three months we have been hanging out more and more and talking at least once a day for a long time, but I dont mind. Then you I begin to realize that this girl is the kind of girl that I have been looking for, for a long time. We just have so much in common, and whenever we are together we have such a good time. And I discovered I really do have strong feelings for her but like an idiot I would tell her that I really cared for her when I was drunk cause I am a real shy guy and have never had a girlfriend and I needed some liquid courage. Well eventually I told her sober that I really do care for. I have told her a couple times and she has told me that she does really like me too, and yes I have kissed a few times and she did not seem to mind at all. However, I can see that she is really torn between her boyfriend and me. I just dont get it because the boyfriend seems like an ass and alot of people have the same opinion of him including her very close friends. I dont really know what to do because I dont want to pressure her into making a decision but I am also worried that she could just be playing with me and I dont want to get my heart broken. this has really been bothering and I dont really know what to do. Just wondering what you guys thought.
Click to expand...


God, WTF DID I JUST READ... Was this unabridged version necessary? Ill take a stab at it.

Girl likey me.
Me likey girl.
Girl likey ex meany BF
Me no likey ex meany BF
Girl likey play with me heart
Me angry drunken.

The end.


Dude, if youre bright enough to be in college, you should be bright enough to use THAT to your advantage. Sex it, and move on.
 
DanoMingea

DanoMingea

New member
Messages
89
Reaction score
2
There are 2 things in which you can do..
advise I received many years ago...

1.) be a man and take her

2.) be a man and keep her

good luck bro

p.s-if it comes down to a fight...keep your chin down!!!
 
Akron Irish

Akron Irish

New member
Messages
1,422
Reaction score
98
My suggestion is to enjoy college. Enjoy the many bit...I mean riches the campus has to offer. If its meant to happen it will. Or you could always go the jerk route.......date one of her friends and make her jealous. That could expedite a change in her situation
 
ACamp1900

ACamp1900

Counting my ‘bet against ND’ winnings
Messages
48,946
Reaction score
11,225
UNTITLEDPROJECT has a way with words does he not??

LMAO!
 
S

stonebreakerwasgod

LMI steals vbucks
Messages
7,295
Reaction score
623
There is wisdom from untitled... bang her and do not become invested emotionally, and move on. Sloppy seconds is better than no helpings at all...

Are those words of wisdom??
 
F

Frommy

New member
Messages
30
Reaction score
0
I'm with ACamp on this one. She's the kind of girl that needs to get her heart broken by "that guy" before she realizes that she just wants a gent like yourself.

She will eventually be that girl who puts on her profile "Aren't there any nice guys out there" when in reality there always has been, she just didnt fall for them before.
 
ACamp1900

ACamp1900

Counting my ‘bet against ND’ winnings
Messages
48,946
Reaction score
11,225
Frommy said:
I'm with ACamp on this one. She's the kind of girl that needs to get her heart broken by "that guy" before she realizes that she just wants a gent like yourself.

She will eventually be that girl who puts on her profile "Aren't there any nice guys out there" when in reality there always has been, she just didnt fall for them before.
Click to expand...

no freaking kidding... isn't that always the way of it???
 
U

UNTITLEDPROJECT

Guest
Funny, because on my profile I have "Where da ho's at?!"
 
P

portlaNDgal

salmonid
Messages
398
Reaction score
34
ACamp1900 said:
no freaking kidding... isn't that always the way of it???
Click to expand...

ACamp, I feel your pain. My last 2 relationships were with The Nice Guy and The Bad Boy. Both lied egregiously and broke my heart in their own ways.

I was also on the periphery of a situation like BLUETHUNDER's. A guy friend of mine had a crush on the friend who I mentioned earlier, who was in the emotionally abusive relationship. He was a great guy but she just didn't go for him. But I had a crush on him too, and he never was interested in me. He would rather have low self-esteem girl. Maybe that's the lesson for you BLUETHUNDER - maybe the reason her friends think you're so great for her is that one of them really likes you.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top