Well, I'll say this hit me pretty good. I grew up in a rural part of northern Ohio. I lived more in the suburbs, but there was a lot of farm boys too. You would see Confederate Flags often, and it was seen as a kind of redneck/southern pride thing. I'd be lying if I said the town wasn't almost exclusively white, but some of the African American kids did play football with us and we all got along, there was no tension between the farm boys and them. This was mid 90s, so obviously prior to the more recent developments. In any case, I heard similar statements from friends that moved to North Carolina. They would see Confederate Flags lined on the side of the road and they understood it to be more of a tradition or pride thing. They only lived there a few years though before moving back.
I've never lived in the south though, I've only had the interpretation of others to go on. I believe what you say as you've lived it probably as close as any "yank" can.
Sorry to hear about the trouble you went through just trying to help that poor girl out. Thanks for opening my eyes to another perspective. While I'm sure for some people it was a symbol of southern pride, it should be considered that people's motivations may not all be pure.
Just for reference, I couldn't find the original article that discussed the support of the flag in the south as an image of pride, but I did find another article that referenced the same poll I believe:
https://ropercenter.cornell.edu/public-opinion-confederate-flag-and-civil-war
If those poll numbers are true then it does further encapsulate the divide between whites and blacks on the status of the flag as I previously mentioned, but it's possible the poll is all a sham if white people in the south are voting positively to hide their bigotry. In any case, thanks again for providing another perspective and giving me first hand experience, you've changed my perception.