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For the past 7 years my High School guidence councelor and family friend battled ovarian cancer off and on going through chemotherapy to try and fight it. This morning she passed away after removing her feeding tube (her choice) just 10 days or so ago. I remember my aunt told me that she wanted to see the University of Notre Dame one last time before she died but she never had the chance. I want to drive down to South Bend and dig up some of the earth and burry it with her so she can have a little bit of Notre Dame and the Echos with her while she rests. She helped me through some pretty tough times in High School and I will never forget that. She will be deeply missed. Below is a nice article from my local newspaper:
Young voices prepare songs of thanks, mourning
Monday, December 17, 2007By Tom RademacherThe Grand Rapids Press
With Saturday's Christmas program behind them, an elite group of singers from Northview High School is training for a performance no one wanted to give, but none would consider missing.
They are practicing for the funeral of beloved school counselor Deana Novakoski, who, after battling ovarian cancer for seven years, has decided to forgo her feeding tube and is expected to die within days.
At Deana's request, Northview's Varsity Voices will help send off the 49-year-old educator known to friends for her devotion to others.
Even her final act -- to disconnect the feeding tube -- is viewed as a gift, in that to continue using it would only compound the care required before her death.
Deana spends her final days in a room of the home she shares with husband, Terry, in northern Kent County.
That's where I went Friday to visit her, a woman I've known since she was a young teen in a swim class I taught at Richmond Pool, not far from the West Side home where then-Deana Sweers and her six siblings grew up.
During the hour we talked, the only regret she allowed herself was she will not see daughter Emily, 24, have babies, or son Matt, 22, marry. Every other word from her parched mouth was of others.
A tear rolled slowly from her right eye as she extolled in ragged breaths a Northview "community" that she emphasized included everyone from the guys who sweep hallways to the office of the superintendent.
She talked, too, of dreams she wills herself to have, specifically of the outdoor pools where as a young woman she served as lifeguard.
"The most calming," she said, "are of being splashed in the face with water, snagging my suit on the concrete, and the warm sun on my face."
In preparing her last rites, Deana has fretted about those she will leave behind after 16 years at the school, relaying to Principal Mark Thomas her concern that students drive safely if making their way from the church to the cemetery.
"This whole process," said Thomas, "is the giving of a gift. All her professional life, she has been this beautifully astute, emotional caregiver. And it continues."
He took a tough breath of his own: "Even now, she's looking for the teachable moment."
A self-professed "planner" even unto her own end, Deana has had a hand in writing her obituary and selecting the songs and voices who will perform at St. Jude's Catholic Church.
The latter task has fallen to 24 juniors and seniors who auditioned to become part of the school's Varsity Voices. They're used to performing at other schools and nursing homes, for service clubs and private parties.
But for the counselor they've come to know and love?
"It's really going to be important for us to hold it in," senior Lauren Wernstrom said. "My first reaction was, 'I can't do this.' But if Mrs. Nova can go through all that she's gone through, how can I not give back?"
"So selfless," Lauren said of the woman who served as her counselor. "And loving," added Hannaniah Whitley, who will perform a solo during the upcoming Mass. "Courageous, too," said senior Dylan Mason.
In seven years, Deana endured countless operations, the last one running 18 hours and performed by two surgeons. It bought her time, but likely not enough to see another Christmas.
She enjoyed her last bit of real food this past February, and for 10 months has relied on nutrients delivered via a port in her chest. In recent weeks, though, her body has been unable to absorb even that, and in consulting with her doctor, made the decision Dec. 4 to stop feeding, to go with grace
Her husband of 26 years stands vigil along with their two children and a host of extended family. Tough as it is to watch his wife die, Terry, 51, says, "We can't ask to change the master plan. Then you're trying to be God. And none of us can be that."
"They've seen me suffer for months," Deana says. "And I've encouraged them and convinced them that there's a better place for me. They'll see me again in a different realm. And I'll be around. They'll call me and I'll hear."
Deana's convinced, too, she'll be listening when the Varsity Voices congregate to singing "Seasons of Love," "Sing Me to Heaven" and "There is no Rose of Such Virtue."
Northview's vocal music director, Judy Pellerito, can't promise she won't break down as she conducts that day for the woman who has become a best friend. "We'll get through it," she says, "But I'm a crier."
Her singers will need to focus, she says. They're going to be gazing out into the pews and seeing "a lot of adults in their lives just crumbling, and those adults are going to be looking for us to help them express their grief, because that's what music does."
At least three people will speak at Deana's funeral, but cards and letters to the couple's home have already brought dozens of voices to Deana's bedside.
"You were always there for me," Tori VanDragt penned on pink stationery.
One teacher referred to Deana as the "glass half-full girl," and another, Sheridan Steelman, composed a poem in which she wrote, "Your kindness has always been our warm cocoon ... Now let our love carry you to your destiny."
Those sentiments and more will be imbued in a Mass that will include readings from the Bible and prayers whispered by family and friends.
In large part, though, it will fall on the shoulders of two dozen kids to sing perhaps like never before, digging deep for the poise required to lift those lyrics up to the skies, a fitting gift for the giver, songs in the key of Deana.
Tom Rademacher's column runs Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. E-mail: trademacher@grpress.com
Rest in peace my friend. I will NEVER forget you,
Bryan Crater
(NDOM)
Young voices prepare songs of thanks, mourning
Monday, December 17, 2007By Tom RademacherThe Grand Rapids Press
With Saturday's Christmas program behind them, an elite group of singers from Northview High School is training for a performance no one wanted to give, but none would consider missing.
They are practicing for the funeral of beloved school counselor Deana Novakoski, who, after battling ovarian cancer for seven years, has decided to forgo her feeding tube and is expected to die within days.
At Deana's request, Northview's Varsity Voices will help send off the 49-year-old educator known to friends for her devotion to others.
Even her final act -- to disconnect the feeding tube -- is viewed as a gift, in that to continue using it would only compound the care required before her death.
Deana spends her final days in a room of the home she shares with husband, Terry, in northern Kent County.
That's where I went Friday to visit her, a woman I've known since she was a young teen in a swim class I taught at Richmond Pool, not far from the West Side home where then-Deana Sweers and her six siblings grew up.
During the hour we talked, the only regret she allowed herself was she will not see daughter Emily, 24, have babies, or son Matt, 22, marry. Every other word from her parched mouth was of others.
A tear rolled slowly from her right eye as she extolled in ragged breaths a Northview "community" that she emphasized included everyone from the guys who sweep hallways to the office of the superintendent.
She talked, too, of dreams she wills herself to have, specifically of the outdoor pools where as a young woman she served as lifeguard.
"The most calming," she said, "are of being splashed in the face with water, snagging my suit on the concrete, and the warm sun on my face."
In preparing her last rites, Deana has fretted about those she will leave behind after 16 years at the school, relaying to Principal Mark Thomas her concern that students drive safely if making their way from the church to the cemetery.
"This whole process," said Thomas, "is the giving of a gift. All her professional life, she has been this beautifully astute, emotional caregiver. And it continues."
He took a tough breath of his own: "Even now, she's looking for the teachable moment."
A self-professed "planner" even unto her own end, Deana has had a hand in writing her obituary and selecting the songs and voices who will perform at St. Jude's Catholic Church.
The latter task has fallen to 24 juniors and seniors who auditioned to become part of the school's Varsity Voices. They're used to performing at other schools and nursing homes, for service clubs and private parties.
But for the counselor they've come to know and love?
"It's really going to be important for us to hold it in," senior Lauren Wernstrom said. "My first reaction was, 'I can't do this.' But if Mrs. Nova can go through all that she's gone through, how can I not give back?"
"So selfless," Lauren said of the woman who served as her counselor. "And loving," added Hannaniah Whitley, who will perform a solo during the upcoming Mass. "Courageous, too," said senior Dylan Mason.
In seven years, Deana endured countless operations, the last one running 18 hours and performed by two surgeons. It bought her time, but likely not enough to see another Christmas.
She enjoyed her last bit of real food this past February, and for 10 months has relied on nutrients delivered via a port in her chest. In recent weeks, though, her body has been unable to absorb even that, and in consulting with her doctor, made the decision Dec. 4 to stop feeding, to go with grace
Her husband of 26 years stands vigil along with their two children and a host of extended family. Tough as it is to watch his wife die, Terry, 51, says, "We can't ask to change the master plan. Then you're trying to be God. And none of us can be that."
"They've seen me suffer for months," Deana says. "And I've encouraged them and convinced them that there's a better place for me. They'll see me again in a different realm. And I'll be around. They'll call me and I'll hear."
Deana's convinced, too, she'll be listening when the Varsity Voices congregate to singing "Seasons of Love," "Sing Me to Heaven" and "There is no Rose of Such Virtue."
Northview's vocal music director, Judy Pellerito, can't promise she won't break down as she conducts that day for the woman who has become a best friend. "We'll get through it," she says, "But I'm a crier."
Her singers will need to focus, she says. They're going to be gazing out into the pews and seeing "a lot of adults in their lives just crumbling, and those adults are going to be looking for us to help them express their grief, because that's what music does."
At least three people will speak at Deana's funeral, but cards and letters to the couple's home have already brought dozens of voices to Deana's bedside.
"You were always there for me," Tori VanDragt penned on pink stationery.
One teacher referred to Deana as the "glass half-full girl," and another, Sheridan Steelman, composed a poem in which she wrote, "Your kindness has always been our warm cocoon ... Now let our love carry you to your destiny."
Those sentiments and more will be imbued in a Mass that will include readings from the Bible and prayers whispered by family and friends.
In large part, though, it will fall on the shoulders of two dozen kids to sing perhaps like never before, digging deep for the poise required to lift those lyrics up to the skies, a fitting gift for the giver, songs in the key of Deana.
Tom Rademacher's column runs Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays. E-mail: trademacher@grpress.com
Rest in peace my friend. I will NEVER forget you,
Bryan Crater
(NDOM)
