More than four years have passed since Ryan Miller last played in an NFL regular season game, but he is reminded about his football career daily. There are the constant migraines, difficulty sleeping, memory problems and trouble maintaining his balance.
Looking back, he said, there was no way to know all the ups and downs that a professional football career would entail. His family and friends gathered at his grandparents’ house for a party the day the Cleveland Browns called to inform the big offensive linemen they had made him their fifth-round pick.
“I was ecstatic,” he said.
The Colorado product appeared in eight games as a rookie in 2012. In the opening days of training camp the following season, Miller suffered a concussion during practice. He was carted off the field and hospitalized. He ended up missing the entire season.
He was eventually released and spent parts of the next season on the Broncos’ and Chargers’ practice squads. A week after the Chargers added him to their active roster, though, Miller suffered another concussion when he slipped on a rain-slicked path and hit his head while walking out for practice.
The symptoms lingered, and Miller — like most football players — didn’t exactly leave the game on his own terms.
“I was in some very dark places because I was still very big, very strong, very fast. But my brain — my head was no longer in position to take a hit,” he said. “It wasn’t worth it to risk something that I might not wake up from.”
He still suffers today from post-concussion syndrome and battles the symptoms on a daily basis. For two years, he was unable to work or plot a post-football life. His focus was on getting healthy. He found a community in a Denver-based non-profit called Parkers Platoon, which helps people who have suffered traumatic brain injuries. Today he relies on cannabidiol (CBD) hemp oil, group therapy and a newly launched business venture to help navigate the daily struggles.
Last fall he started a catering business out of his garage called Iron Spoke BBQ, which he says “gave me purpose again.”
“I think it’s really helping to turn all this post-concussion stuff around,” he said. “It’s still rolling the dice. There are still some days I’m cooking and I have to call on other people to come help and step in.”
Knowing what he knows now, would Miller go back and do it again, put his head in harm’s way?
“I probably would,” he conceded. “Look, I loved it. I miss it dearly. I do think I could still physically do a lot of stuff, so it’s bittersweet.”
