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Marcus turns on his phone for the first time after coming back from vacay:

You mean like…Tyler Buchner…

Because we let humans select the playoff competitors as opposed to objective data. It’s that simple.

I gave my criteria in my post. CFP? Count. Non-CFP? Nope. I mean is it fun to laugh at NardDog and Dabo? Sure. But the results themselves literally don’t mean anything.

I don’t really use any non-CFP “bowl” game as a point of validation for any argument at this point. Like Pump said, with all of the coaching changes, portallers, and opt outs, these teams are vastly different from what they were a month ago.

I think the most likely outcome would be Ballard axed and Shane to stay. There’s going to be quite a few openings this time around and I’m not confident the Colts can find a better HC than Shane on the market. What I’d love for Shane to do is give up play-calling duties. Hire an OC. Be the head...

Wife is objectively gorgeous. Wife is married to Josh Pate. @jprue thinks Josh Pate is gorgeous.

No italics needed. You could honestly argue that this transfer makes the kicking room *less* in shambles.

Barstool is hilarious. BigCat. Brandon Walker. They spawned Pat McAfee who I think is awesome. Dave the person sucks. But Dave the businessman has proven himself.

Or…hear me out…bring in two (2) portal kickers.

He’s really good at what he does. I mean he built Barstool into a sports entertainment juggernaut. Dude can farm engagement like no other. Really, though, I’ll always have a little support for him and the work he did for mom & pop restaurants during the pandemic.

Eville dropping seemingly positive news regarding the program he hates:

“Hey gang, let’s see who @EvilleIrish actually is…”

Maybe it’s the last 38 years of being an ND fan, but I’m just programmed to expect the worst possible scenario to come to fruition and then I can be pleasantly surprised when literally anything better than that happens.

“Hey gang, let’s see who Eville really is…”

I would think that would give us more leverage to stay out until someone made us an offer we couldn’t refuse.

You’re so apathetic about your team that you don’t realize your coach is Dan Quinn and not Dan Campbell.

Well hey at least you’ll be able to take a victory lap at the expense of the team you supposedly root for…not that there’s any evidence to support that.