After having plans to head to the BG game, friday i get a phone call that my grandmother with cancer has gone downhill FAST in the last few days and may not last through the weekend. Saturday around noon, my stepdad and I set out on our 16 hour drive from Indy to Boston. After a few food and gas stops, we finally pull up to grandmas house at about 4:30 am sunday. We ended up having to sleep in the Armada til around 6am when my mom, who had been there since last tuesday, came out to get us. After sleeping for a couple hours, my sister shows up from Colorado. Now was the time to go into the other room and see grandma. I have known since around christmas that she wasn't going to last much longer and after hearing how much worse she had gotten, I tried to mentally prepare myself for what I was going to see. I THOUGHT I was ready. I guess not. I started cryin like a little girl. I had NO idea she would look as bad as she did. She probably only weighs around 80 pounds now. She went from partial vision, to completely losing her vision near the end of the day. I did manage to put a smile on her face after she realized I was there. I've been told my whole life by my mother that I was always her favorite grandson, but always shook it off. Well, after I showed up, they said that was the first time she had smiled in days. My grandfather even said that she had been "waiting" for me. She also had several outbursts from remembering things in the past. Acting them out even. Reaching her hands out "making" something and "talking" to her long passed relatives, yelling for HER grandmother. It was so sad.
Well, she made it through the night last night, but I had to be on a plane this morning at 7 to get back home to take care of some prior engagements. I very well may be driving back to boston myself tomorrow to stay a little longer.
When you think you're ready for something like this, it just so happens, you don't know shit. I don't want my grandma to die, but I don't want her to have to deal with the pain anymore. I teared up again this morning leaving the house to go to the airport. It was quite possibly the last time I ever leave their house with her still there.
Yesterday probably would have been the best day for it to happen. It was a beautiful day in Boston and there was ALOT of family there with her. I could only hope that i receive the amount of love and support from family when MY time comes.
Sorry for the long read. I love my grandma.
Well, she made it through the night last night, but I had to be on a plane this morning at 7 to get back home to take care of some prior engagements. I very well may be driving back to boston myself tomorrow to stay a little longer.
When you think you're ready for something like this, it just so happens, you don't know shit. I don't want my grandma to die, but I don't want her to have to deal with the pain anymore. I teared up again this morning leaving the house to go to the airport. It was quite possibly the last time I ever leave their house with her still there.
Yesterday probably would have been the best day for it to happen. It was a beautiful day in Boston and there was ALOT of family there with her. I could only hope that i receive the amount of love and support from family when MY time comes.
Sorry for the long read. I love my grandma.
