WabashFalcon
Team MVP
- Messages
- 6,722
- Reaction score
- 268
What do you call a U$C grad in a 3-piece suit?
- The defendant
What do UCLA and U$C students have in common?
- They both got into U$C
What does the U$C player get on his SAT's?
- Drool
Why do students proactively choose U$C over UCLA?
- It's easier to spell
Why do Trojans play their home games on natural turf?
- So their cheerleaders have a place to graze during halftime
What do you get when you drive slowly by the U$C campus?
- A degree
What is the difference between a U$C diploma and toilet paper?
- About $80,000 per sheet
Why doesn't U$C have ice on the sidelines?
- The guy with the recipe graduated
How do you get a U$C graduate off your porch?
- Pay him for the pizza
What are the best 4 years of a Trojan's life?
- Third grade
How many U$C freshmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None, that's a sophomore class
What do a Trojan and a bottle of beer have in common?
- They're both empty from the neck up
Did you hear the library at USC burned down?
They lost both books, and one hadn’t even been colored in yet.
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, “Wanna hear a USC joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6’ tall, 200 lbs., and I’m a USC graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2”, weighs 225, and he’s a USC graduate. The fella next to him is 6’5” tall, weighs 250, and he’s a USC graduate. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?
The first guy replies: “Naw, not if I’m gonna have to explain it three times.”
Members of the USC football team were placed in a remedial English class. “Because we are all new on campus we are going to start with the basics,” the professor explained. “Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?” All of the players raised their hands. “The appeal!” they all shouted with pride.
- The defendant
What do UCLA and U$C students have in common?
- They both got into U$C
What does the U$C player get on his SAT's?
- Drool
Why do students proactively choose U$C over UCLA?
- It's easier to spell
Why do Trojans play their home games on natural turf?
- So their cheerleaders have a place to graze during halftime
What do you get when you drive slowly by the U$C campus?
- A degree
What is the difference between a U$C diploma and toilet paper?
- About $80,000 per sheet
Why doesn't U$C have ice on the sidelines?
- The guy with the recipe graduated
How do you get a U$C graduate off your porch?
- Pay him for the pizza
What are the best 4 years of a Trojan's life?
- Third grade
How many U$C freshmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- None, that's a sophomore class
What do a Trojan and a bottle of beer have in common?
- They're both empty from the neck up
Did you hear the library at USC burned down?
They lost both books, and one hadn’t even been colored in yet.
A guy in a bar leans over to the guy next to him and asks, “Wanna hear a USC joke?” The guy next to him replies, “Well, before you tell that joke, you should know something. I’m 6’ tall, 200 lbs., and I’m a USC graduate. The guy sitting next to me is 6’2”, weighs 225, and he’s a USC graduate. The fella next to him is 6’5” tall, weighs 250, and he’s a USC graduate. Now, you still wanna tell that joke?
The first guy replies: “Naw, not if I’m gonna have to explain it three times.”
Members of the USC football team were placed in a remedial English class. “Because we are all new on campus we are going to start with the basics,” the professor explained. “Does anyone know what comes after a sentence?” All of the players raised their hands. “The appeal!” they all shouted with pride.
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