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Old 11-12-2015, 02:09 PM   #631
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Old 11-18-2015, 08:14 PM   #632
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Good read. Real Talk.

What If The New Star Wars Sucks?

Albert Burneko
Filed to: STAR WARS10/20/15 3:55pm
What If The New Star Wars Sucks, Too?

Last night, the third trailer for the upcoming Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiered on YouTube and ESPN. Did you shit your dick? I definitely shat my dick. I think the dick-shittingest moment, for me, was when the new Darth Vader guy was doing the Force to the other guy’s brain, but the low-altitude aerial combat was strong as hell, too.

Hey, remember the nasty Jewish stereotype who owned 8-year-old Anakin Skywalker and his mother in The Phantom Menace? Remember how the Trade Federation aliens came straight out of World War II anti-Japanese propaganda? Remember Jar-Jar Binks? Remember when the first Star Wars movie in 16 years climaxed with an army of Jar-Jars catapulting goddamn bubbles at an army of frail-looking CGI robots on a grassy knoll, and your wallet leaped out of your pocket of its own accord and slapped you across the fucking mouth right there in the theater?

I shat my dick at the first teaser trailer, too. That deep, cruel voice, seeming to speak directly to viewers; the X-wings roaring over the water; that dark, mysterious figure storming through the snow and then abruptly, furiously unsheathing that wicked Cross of St. Peter-shaped lightsaber. And then, oh man, that moment, the iconic score bursting forth and the Millennium Falcon—the Millennium Falcon!—soaring and twisting and dodging a sudden spray of TIE fighters. The sights and sounds of the Star Wars universe I loved so much as a kid! No 90-second video has ever made me shit so much of my dick, or do it so suddenly.

Hey, hey, remember how Darth Maul was butt? Remember how he was in The Phantom Menace for like 12 total minutes, how he was an overcaffeinated ninja try-hard with a stupid bo-staff lightsaber and got chopped in half and tossed in the garbage by a shitty Padawan with a braided rat-tail? Remember how the scary bad guy in Attack of the Clones was an octogenarian with a lightsaber hilt that bent like an old man’s flaccid dick? Remember how he handled both Obi-Wan and Anakin at the same time?

What If The New Star Wars Sucks, Too?

It bent. He even pointed it downward. In related news, George Lucas was 58 years old in 2002.

The second trailer was a bona-fide dick-shitter, too: the sight of the impossibly vast Star Destroyer half-buried in the sand; Mark Hamill’s voice talking up the heredity of the Force and connecting this film to the first three; and, oh God, that badass chrome stormtrooper. The official Star Wars YouTube of this trailer has been watched over 65 million times, and I’m probably responsible for a good third of those. It’s two minutes long, and it is a better and more exciting movie than Jurassic World all by itself.

But, hey, remember in Revenge of the Sith, when the evil Darth Sidious, the most cunning and calculating Sith Lord of all time, finally gives Order 66—the culmination of his entire subtle and slow-burning master plan for the annihilation of the Jedi Order and absolute power over the entire galaxy, the one fell stroke toward which all the events of the prequel trilogy were manipulated, the checkmate he’s been setting up literally since before Anakin Skywalker was born—and it’s “Do lasers at the Jedis when they’re not looking”? Remember how literally every Jedi in the universe except Yoda and Obi-Wan gets killed at the same time because they neither detected this plot nor were able to fight off small groups of soldiers firing exactly the kinds of beams Jedis had spent the preceding 2.8 movies deflecting like so many harmless “yo mama” jokes?

What upcoming release has ever stoked as much feverish anticipation as The Force Awakens? It almost certainly will claim, by big monstrous margins, every box-office and viewership record in the history of filmmaking. It may well wind up as the most widely consumed entertainment product in history. Already I—a fairly casual fan of the overall Star Wars oeuvre, relatively speaking—have made plans to see it more than once: one time on the biggest, loudest screen I can find, and then one more time in that one theater where I can bring my kids and order dinner for them while we watch. I’ve never even considered doing that before, much less with a movie still two months from its release date.

Fine, but do you remember how the Podrace scene somehow went on for seven hours, even though The Phantom Menace was only 136 minutes? Remember the endless, world-historically boring, laughably phony-looking arena battle in the second half of Attack of the Clones? Remember how the only enjoyable things in Revenge of the Sith were Ian McDiarmid and Ewan McGregor not even pretending to take the proceedings seriously anymore and just hamming it up as much as they could? Remember, oh God ... remember “I don’t like sand”?

Remember how your face turned inside-out the first time you sat through that shit?

So much of what has made the trailers for this upcoming movie so exciting is how pointedly they refute the horrendous prequel trilogy. The slick, gleaming, overly-CGI’d look of those disasters is gone, and the shabby, run-down, space-Western look of the original trilogy is back. There are no little children, no gimmicky alien sidekicks. The action sequences appear to be consequential to the larger narrative outside the characters themselves, unlike the stupid Podrace. The message seems to be: This time, the filmmakers have taken more responsible stewardship of the rich Star Wars fantasy world; these movies will truly pay homage to the classic trilogy you loved so well.

Hey, remember the Ewoks? Remember how, in Return of the Jedi, the Rebellion hadn’t assembled a squad for the absolute most crucial job that needed to be done in order to destroy the Death Star until like five minutes before their attack was about to commence, and they just threw it together on the fly right there with what amounted to a show of hands? Remember how their plan amounted to, “Walk through the woods until something happens”? Remember how this forest moon’s huge population of indigenous teddy bears caught them—and the Empire—completely by surprise? But seriously: Remember the fucking Ewoks?

Here is the problem. Most of the Star Wars movies are not good, but bad. Betting on this one to be good—to be the best movie of all time—is betting against the trend. The overall mean grade of the six existing Star Wars films is, like, a D.

Of those six, two (the original Star Wars, plus The Empire Strikes Back) are unqualified classics. Three others (the prequels) are among the worst films ever to receive wide theatrical release. That brings us to the sixth, Return of the Jedi, the one nearest to The Force Awakens in the narrative chronology. I am very sorry to say that Return of the Jedi is butt.

Sure, it contains around an hour or so of terrific, visually spectacular space-fantasy adventure. Unfortunately, this space-fantasy adventure shares its running time with nearly 80 minutes of embarrassing bullshit. Here I am referring to: the too-long-by-half Jabba the Hutt sequence at the beginning, which tries and fails to recapture the sleazy fun of Mos Eisley; the excruciating scene in which a visibly embarrassed Alec Guinness delivers a block of exposition revealing Obi-Wan Kenobi to be the most hapless doofus who ever lived; what only feels like a month of intolerable Ewok nonsense; and more.

Crucially, the bullshit parts also include the following completely unforgivable scene, which foreshadows the abysmal prequel trilogy to come:

We need to talk about this scene. This scene is an atrocity. It is as bad as nearly anything in the prequels, and—because it is part of the original trilogy, and thus can’t be ignored as easily as, say, the disastrous talk about midichlorians in The Phantom Menace—far more ruinous. To illustrate why, let’s talk about a different sequence first. This one:

This is Luke and Vader’s confrontation in The Empire Strikes Back (edited by a YouTuber to remove the bits of Leia and Lando’s B-story sprinkled in there). By the end of it, Vader is so terrifying, so huge and cruel and relentless, that he’s hard even to look at; you’re afraid he’ll catch you peeking at him and fuck your shit up through the screen. Take a moment to consider what Vader does in this sequence.

After wearing Luke out with furious lightsaber skills from one end of Cloud City to the other; after bashing him to a pulp with flying space toasters; after blasting Luke out of a window and chasing him out to the end of a lonely windblown plank far from everyone who has ever known or cared about him, he lops the little pissant’s entire hand right the fuck off and then, then, only then, figures the time is right to go, Oh and also, I fucked your mom.

As our own Tim Marchman put it, it’s the rawest own in cinema history. The crucial line—“No. I am your father.”—lands like an atomic bomb precisely because the dude saying it just spent the previous movie-and-three-quarters making you wet your pants, and is saying it to the young cock whose hand he’d just hacked off like it was nothing. That was his son he did that to! Just now! Luke’s reaction, horror and revulsion and shame so great he literally chucks himself into a bottomless pit over it, feels downright understated. Darth Vader, at that moment, is as stark and evil a villain as any movie has ever had.

With that in mind, let’s return to the scene from Return of the Jedi, in which a completely unafraid Luke Skywalker kicks skin-crawling televangelist game—I feel the conflict within you! Let go of your hate! Don’t you have somethin’ you wanna say to Jesus? Somethin’ you wanna ask Him for?—at the giant evil cyborg who chopped his hand off the last time they were in each others’ presence. Who is this soggy piece of shit wearing Darth fucking Vader’s clothes? Who is this whiny, slumping sad-sack, mewling about how he must obey his master?

This is neither the absolute cruelty nor the equally frightening true-believer zeal of the Darth Vader we knew. This is the angsty, vapid, self-pitying emo shit-for-brains we’d later come to know in the prequels—the pathetic, un-frightening goomba henchman who for all intents and purposes gets pranked into becoming a villain in the first place. This is not the bad motherfucker who gleefully slices his own kid’s extremities off and then owns him all the way to attempted suicide; whose flair for cruel showmanship led to the memorable scene of him having Han and Leia delivered to him at a dinner table. This is a defeated, excuse-making heap of garbage.

What If The New Star Wars Sucks, Too?
This is Darth Vader. Does he seem all that sad about being Darth Vader to you? No he does not.

I’d want Luke to give this cybernetic Robert Smith a wedgie, but where the fuck is Luke? Gone is the sweaty, athletic, ballsy young insurgent of Empire, replaced by this neutered megachurch-pastor bag of crap. The hammy, cackling Emperor is the only motherfucker in this Force-sensitive triad who has any spunk, any zest for life. I wish he’d Force-lightninged both of these impostors to hell.

This one scene completely ruins the climactic clash between Luke, Vader, and the Emperor—what’s supposed to be the crux and emotional peak of the entire epic trilogy. Vader, one of the great terrors in film history, isn’t frightening anymore; he’s already all but explicitly told us he doesn’t like his job and doesn’t want to do it. He’s just a big weak-willed bodyguard acting out of a sense of duty. My God, he’s already Hayden Christensen’s Vader.

Remember at the end of Revenge of the Sith, when Anakin has gone over to the Dark Side and done all types of evil shit, and he and Obi-Wan are battling above the lava, and a desperate Obi-Wan, hearing his beloved best friend raving like a lunatic, yells, “Anakin, Chancellor Palpatine is evil!” Remember how Anakin’s response—the actual thing he says in reply, out loud, this unstoppable malevolent force who earlier that same day slaughtered a building full of young children one by one with a laser-sword—is, “From my point of view the Jedi are evil!” That is not a different Darth Vader from the one who mewls, “I must obey my master” at Luke. That is the same Vader. What if the one from Episodes IV and V was the lie?

When Luke is hiding under the stairs and Vader’s shit-talking about the totality of Obi-Wan’s failure and how he’s gonna turn Leia to the Dark Side, it plays like he’s talking more to the Emperor than to Luke, trying to impress his boss. See, boss? I’m evil as hell! Ain’t I evil, boss? Huh? Ain’t I? This sorry loser is no threat to Leia or to anybody else; he’d have to pause Beaches long enough to shave his helmet-stubble and scrounge up a clean cape first, and we all know he’s not up to it.

(Also, the Leia-as-sister thing is a fatal mistake, too; it forces us to understand both Vader and Obi-Wan as complete idiots. Vader stood face-to-face with his own daughter at multiple junctures of the first film and never once noticed a resemblance to himself or his dead wife—the woman with whom, according to the prequel trilogy, he’d been in love since he was eight years old? He never once detected that the Force was strong with this one? A random astromech droid shows up at Obi-Wan’s hut in the company of Darth Vader’s secret son, spits out a video recording of that son’s secret sister, and Obi-Wan doesn’t even blanch or bat an eyelash at this? Doesn’t even notice that Darth Vader’s secret son clearly has the hots for his own fucking sister? These people are fucking morons!)

Return of the Jedi is not good. C’mon. You’ll feel better when you just put it out there and name it. And the ways Return of the Jedi sucks are the ways the prequels suck: The prequels are not a betrayal, but a coherent expression of where the original trilogy was headed in 1983. It was already sprouting cutesy sidekicks and miserable plotting; the Jedi were already shifting from wise warrior monks to bland New-Age self-help gurus; it had already ruined Darth Vader.

Once you acknowledge these undeniable truths—you can do it!—the next step is recognizing that mostly, the Star Wars universe has given us movies that are bad. The prequels are not the aberrations. Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back are.

Maybe The Force Awakens will be great! I sure as fuck hope so. J.J. Abrams is at the controls, and his crack at the Star Trek franchise yielded one terrific film followed by a frustrating misfire. If that 50-percent success rate doesn’t look all that much like a reason to feel confident, it’s a hell of a lot better than the 33-percent Star Wars is batting so far. That’s Naked Gun territory, for chrissakes.

Two great movies, one mediocre one, and three of the worst major motion pictures ever made. The odds are against The Force Awakens. Minimum bet is the cost of one movie ticket, and I kinda feel like a sucker already. But I’ve already bought two.

Remember when Luke took Darth’s helmet off? Remember when what was inside looked like a bald Richard Dreyfuss? Remember the look on poor Liam Neeson’s face throughout The Phantom Menace? Remember when a battalion of Stormtroopers surrendered to rock-wielding Ewoks? Remember Jar-Jar Binks? No, seriously: Remember Jar-Jar Binks?

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Old 11-18-2015, 09:18 PM   #633
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:40 PM   #634
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Hahaha, I was in middle school when the Phantom Menace came out and I actually enjoyed the prequels. I look back now and realize that they are extremely corny but they had some pretty awesome scenes and the light saber battles were better IMO.

This Reddit post has an interesting theory about Jar-Jar and actually makes the prequels a lot more interesting!

https://m.reddit.com/r/StarWars/comm...ed_force_user/ (there are a lot of external links in the actual post if you click on this link)

Here I will seek to establish that Jar Jar Binks, far from being simply the bumbling idiot he portrays himself as, is in fact a highly skilled force user in terms of martial ability and mind control.

Furthermore, I assert that he was not, as many people assume, just an unwitting political tool manipulated by Palpatine-- rather, he and Palpatine were likely in collaboration from the very beginning, and it's entirely possible that Palpatine was a subordinate underling to Binks throughout both trilogies.

And finally, given the above, I will conclude with an argument as to why I believe it is not only possible, but plausible that Jar Jar will make a profound impact on the upcoming movies, and what his role may be.

So first, let's establish Jar Jar as a skilled warrior. While this does not in itself necessitate a connection with the Physical Force, it's highly suggestive in the Star Wars universe-- very rarely do we see "normal" characters exhibiting extraordinary stuntwork or physical feats unless they are Jedi, Sith, or at least force sensitives.

So here's Jar Jar nonchalantly executing a standing 20 foot twisting somersault.

Now, taken out of context, if you were watching a Star Wars movie and saw a character casually execute this maneuver, you'd probably assume it was a Jedi. In the context of Jar Jar, though, we don't... because elsewhere he so thoroughly convinces us that he's nothing more than a harmless dunce with his inane dialogue and cowardly-lion act.

He also manages to convince us that he's a bumbling oaf in the midst of pitched battle... even though he's always incredibly, amazingly successful. Whether single-handedly taking down a battledroid tank, or unleashing a barrage of boombas on their front lines, or precisely targeting multiple enemies with a blaster tangled around his ankle (!!!), we simply roll our eyes and attribute it to dumb "luck."

But is it? Obi-Wan warned us otherwise.

This is one of the main reasons we as an audience hate Jar Jar so thoroughly; he breaks the fourth wall, he he shatters our suspension of disbelief, because we know that no one is really that lucky. We dismiss it as a lame, cliched trope-- the silly pathetic oaf who always seems to inadvertently save the day.

I posit that, instead, this is a deliberate facade on the part of Jar Jar as a character, and on the part of the writers and animators. As we know, the Jedi themselves are inspired by Shaolin Monks, and there's a particular kung fu discipline that Jar Jar's physicality is purposefully modeled upon which allows him to appear goofy and uncoordinated even as he lays waste to his enemies; namely, Zui Quan, or Drunken Fist wushu. This discipline seeks to imitate the "sloshing," seemingly random foibles of a drunkard, but in reality the staggering and stumbling is the use of bodily momentum, deception, and unpredictability intended to lure and confuse opponents.

Let's take a look at Jar Jar displaying some wushu (the compasion clips are taken from an instructional Zui Quan video):

Jar Jar kipping-up

Zui Quan Comparison

Jar Jar "sloshing"

Zui Quan Comparison

Jar Jar Sweeps the Leg

Zui Quan Comparison

(if you slow down the above gif, you'll notice how Jar Jar dodges an incoming blaster shot at the very beginning. You'll also notice how he's mysteriously aware of the droideka as it appears behind him, even though it isn't in his line of sight and he couldn't possibly hear it over the din of battle....)

Jar Jar Centering himself in preparation for a Force jump

Zui Quan Comparison

...ok, that's all well and good, but even if Jar Jar is a secret Drunken Fist boxing master, that doesn't make him a force user, right? Well, it should at least make us suspicious of his character period. It establishes that his over-the-top, childish antics are a veneer masking a more complex character than we're led to believe. But even if you choose to ignore Jar Jar's seemingly magical prescience in battle, I believe that there is a particular scene in which we do see him clearly make use of the physical force...

In TPM, when Jar Jar and the Jedi ambush the droids and rescue the queen and her entourage, Jar Jar "accidentally" botches his leap from the balcony. A few frames later, he is seen dropping from the opposite side of the balcony, which would seem to be quite be impossible without a force assisted jump and/or force sprint of some kind. Let's take a look at the full scene:

Jar Jar Ambush

(Note that as they sneak up, Jar Jar is just as effortlessly stealthy as his Jedi counterparts. Interesting.)

Now as I said, we see Jar Jar catch hold of the balcony on the far right side, but then he drops to the ground on the far left. Easy to dismiss as a continuity or framing error, I suppose... except that one of the droids continues to fire on Jar Jar's initial position, even as we see him drop elsewhere!

Here it is in slow-motion

See the droid that comes charging up, right behind the one Qui-Gon chops down? What's he shooting at up there?? And see its head swing back towards Jar Jars new position after the shot? You can also see another droid behind it tracking Jar Jar with its head, and manage a shot on the new position. This means that the animators knew very well where Jar Jar was supposed to be- dangling from the balcony over Qui-Gon's left shoulder- and purposefully animate the droids tracking his inexplicably fast movement elsewhere.

I think what has happened here, even though we don't see it directly, is that Jar Jar has purposefully split the attention of the enemies by grabbing on to the balcony as he falls, and then (using the force) propelled himself with a pull-up/flip to land in an unexpected place.

In fact, this is a maneuver we've seen before... from a jedi. Twice, if you want to count Obi-Wan doing it in the Duel of Fates to take Maul by surprise.

In addition to this kind of highly suspicious physical "luck," I also believe that we're given enough clues to justifiably suspect that Jar Jar is also a master of Jedi Mind Control.

Consider: We hate the way Jar Jar influences major plot points for the same reason we hate his physicality- it messes with our sense of realism. Two experienced Jedi on a serious mission would never actually bring someone that stupid along with them. No character that idiotic would ever really be made a general. They certainly wouldn't be made a senator. How could anyone like Jar Jar really convince the entire galaxy to abandon democracy? That's ridiculous.

These things are just the political version of his physical "luck." Inadvertent, seemingly comical bumbling that just so happens to result in astoundingly positive results. But what if it isn't inadvertant, and what if Jar Jar's meteoric rise and inexplicable influence isn't the result of dumb happenstance, but the result of extensive and careful use of force mind powers?

Jedi (and presumably Sith) exhibit telltale signs when using the Mind Trick to implant suggestions or influence behavior. For one, they always gesticulate and not-so-subtly wave their hands at the target.

Here's a look at some pivotal Jar Jar moments during his political career:

Jar Jar hand-waving his way towards a promotion to Bombad General

Jar Jar hand-waving his way towards a promotion to the Senate

Jar Jar using Force Persuasion as he hand-waves the entire Galactic Senate and ushers in the death of democracy.

Actually, if you watch the prequels with the idea that Jar Jar might be a manipulative, dark character, you begin to notice just how insidious and subtle his manipulation is, and how effective, in almost every sequence he's involved in, and also just how hyper-aware of the overarching plot he really is.

Examples: Jar Jar tricking the Jedi into traveling through the planet core (so that they need him). Jar Jar carefully causing a scene so that they run into Anakin. Jar Jar constantly mocking Qui-Gon behind his back while Anakin is watching (so that Anakin learns disrespect for Jedi authority early on). Jar Jar telling an 8 year old child that the queen is "pretty hot," fanning the flames of the child's infatuation that is exploited later on. I could go on.

Now if you lend even the slightest credence to my above points, and acknowledge the possibility that Jar Jar might not be an idiot, you're almost forced to conclude that Jar Jar Binks and Palpatine were co-conspirators. If Jar Jar is putting forth an elaborate act to deceive people, it means he's not a fool... and if he's not a fool, it means his actions in Episode II that facilitate Palpatine's plans are not those of an unwitting tool- they are those of a partner.

Remember- Palpatine and Jar Jar are from the same planet, which in the scale of the Star Wars universe is like growing up as next door neighbors. It's entirely possible that they knew each other for years prior to TPM-- perhaps they trained together, or one trained the other. And Naboo is a really strange planet, actually; remember those odd ancient statues with the third eye? Naboo is the kind of place an "outcast" Gungan might find a Sith holocron or two.

But that's just speculation. Let's stick to what we know-- what we know is that even after Palpatine is elected as Chancellor, years after Jar Jar has been "tricked" into helping elect him, Palpatine still hangs out with Jar Jar in RotS.. Why? Wouldn't he be a constant source of public embarrassment? This is the same character who can't walk five yards without stepping in poodoo or squealing like a rabid donkey, right? What use does he have now? Why is he still at the right hand of the most powerful person in the galaxy? Could it be that in fact Jar Jar is the most powerful person in the galaxy?

Fine. Maybe. Hilarious conspiracy theory, but why would George Lucas bother to create this devious Gungan character with an elaborate conspiratorial past, but then never actually reveal his true nature?

Here's George Lucas (from a documentary) talking about Yoda:

"Yoda really comes from a tradition in mythological storytelling- fairy tales- of the hero finding a little creature on the side of the road that seems very insignificant and not very important, but who turns out to be the master wizard, or the master thing..."

As we all know, one of Lucas' big deals with the prequels was that they were intended to "rhyme" and mirror the original trilogy in terms of general narrative themes. So there should have been a seemingly innocent creature found on the side of the road that later reveals itself as a major player. We do have a creature that this seems to describe precisely... Jar Jar... but of course he never develops into a "master" anything.

Here's what I think happened: I think that Jar Jar was initially intended to be the prequel (and Dark Side) equivalent of Yoda. Just as Yoda has his "big reveal" when we learn that his tottering, geriatric goofball persona is just a mask, Jar Jar was intended to have a big reveal in Episode II or III where we learn that he's not really a naive dope, but rather a master puppeteer Sith in league with (or perhaps in charge of) Palpatine.

However, GL chickened out. The fan reaction to Jar Jar was so vitriolic that this aspect of the trilogy was abandoned. Just too risky... if Jar Jar is truly that off-putting, it's potentially ruinous to the Star Wars legacy to imply that he's the ultimate bad guy of the entire saga. So pretend he was just a failed attempt at comic relief instead.

This is why Dooku seems like such a flat, shoehorned-in character with no backstory; he was hastily written in to cover the plot holes left when villain Jar Jar was redacted. Yoda was meant to duel with his literal darkside nemesis and mythological equivalent at the end of AotC: not boring old Count Dooku, but Sith Master Jar Jar. And Binks was meant to escape, not just that duel but to survive the entire trilogy... so that he could cast a shadow on the OT, too; you'd rewatch the originals knowing that the Emperor wasn't necessarily the big baddie after all... Jar Jar is still out there somewhere. It would have been sort of brilliant.

But I believe it is likely that the writers of the new trilogy will resurrect this idea. Most people seem to think that Disney wishes to distance or somehow disassociate itself from the prequels... but this doesn't actually make any economic or marketing sense. There is far more prequel-era based intellectual property to capitalize on than there is OT, if only because of the Clone Wars movie and series. Billions of dollars in iconic toys, images, characters, games, park rides, etc that an entire younger generation grew up on. Disney is not going to pretend that over half of the $4 billion in IP they bought simply isn't worth acknowledging.

(and anyway, we have behind the scenes TFA footage clearly showing imagery being reused from the prequels. Also, many of the flags above Maz's castle in the trailer are from TPM)

No, it stands to reason that one of their primary goals will be to reinvigorate and ultimately try to redeem the prequels in the eyes of the fanbase. To elevate and improve them retroactively, as much as possible. So how do you do that?

Jar Jar Binks has undoubtedly become the face of everything that is "wrong" with the prequels- he was too silly, too unbelievable, seemingly pointless. If you are able to somehow change the nature of Jar Jar from embarrassing idiot to jaw-dropping villain, suddenly the entire prequel trilogy must be seen in a new light, because it becomes the setup for the most astounding reveal in film history:

Jar Jar Binks is Supreme Leader Snoke!
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Old 11-18-2015, 09:47 PM   #635
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Originally Posted by Whiskeyjack View Post
Would be nice if vBulletin had spoiler tags.
It does, but you have to be on version 4.0 or greater I think:

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Old 11-20-2015, 05:12 PM   #636
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Just ordered "Star Wars: Aftermath" by Chuck Wendig.

It's the first novel that's part of "Journey to The Force Awakens." There are a few YA novels out I think as well, but I won't get those. There are supposedly some short stories coming out after the first of the year that will also fit in between Episode VI and Episode VII, and they will be together in a collection.

The book I ordered has a timeline in the front:

The Del Rey Star Wars Timeline

- Episode I: The Phantom Menace
- Episode II: Attack of the Clones
- The Clone Wars (TV Series)
- Dark Disciple
- Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
- Lords of the Sith
- Tarkin
- A New Dawn
- Rebels (TV Series)
- Episode IV: A New Hope
- Heir to the Jedi
- Battlefront: Twilight Company
- Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back
- Episode VI: Return of the Jedi
- Aftermath
- Episode VII: The Force Awakens
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Old 11-23-2015, 12:24 PM   #637
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