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Wives and the Stupid **** They Say/Do

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  • My wife never gardens, ever,... that’s me. But she got the bug to pull weeds in our pumpkin/watermelon patch. I told her,... Do not mistake the melons for weeds. They look like small pumpkins, if you don’t know, don’t pull. She says okay and I go grill diner. Fast forward to food being ready: I go to the patch to tell her and I find every single last watermelon plant pulled,..............
    This sig will not change until The Browns win the Super Bowl... So get real used to it.

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    • Originally posted by NDohio View Post
      When we moved from OH to SC, we had a ton of help on the front end. Neighbors and friends packed us up and we were off. Get to SC, it's raining like crazy and it's just me, my wife, and two teenagers...oh and a bunch of new "neighbors" sitting on their front porches watching us. Glad we only rented that place short term. To top it off, I had to be in Birmingham, AL by 9:00 AM the next morning - what was I thinking? What a nightmare.
      So your old neighbors were excited to pack you off and your new neighbors were less than excited to have you around? Buddy, maybe the problem ain't the neighbors lol

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      • The wife has this rolling beverage cart that she repurposed to use outside. She took a lot of old wooden slats and covered the outside to give it an old distressed look. Doesn't look bad, but the bottom has deteriorated due to being outside for a couple of years and the wheels keep falling out. She decides she's going to fix it once and for all.

        I get home from work and the cart is upside down. I see she put some new wood on the bottom to repair it. She asks how she can put the wheels on and I tell her to just drill a hole slightly smaller than the stem on the wheel and hammer them in. "Can you do that for me?" "Sure, let me change clothes first".

        I come back out and she tells me I better check to see if the boards she put on it will hold before I start on the wheels. I walk over grab one board, pull up and out it comes. "What did you do that for?" lol

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        • Originally posted by Irish#1 View Post
          The wife has this rolling beverage cart that she repurposed to use outside. She took a lot of old wooden slats and covered the outside to give it an old distressed look. Doesn't look bad, but the bottom has deteriorated due to being outside for a couple of years and the wheels keep falling out. She decides she's going to fix it once and for all.

          I get home from work and the cart is upside down. I see she put some new wood on the bottom to repair it. She asks how she can put the wheels on and I tell her to just drill a hole slightly smaller than the stem on the wheel and hammer them in. "Can you do that for me?" "Sure, let me change clothes first".

          I come back out and she tells me I better check to see if the boards she put on it will hold before I start on the wheels. I walk over grab one board, pull up and out it comes. "What did you do that for?" lol

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          • We had painters coming today.* In preparation this weekend I spent Saturday*night painting the trim in the stairwell and upstairs hallway because it had never been done.* We also have two bay-view windows that were previously painted, but she likes to put some sticky crap down to hold her Christmas displays and fake snow in the winter...and so those have to be sanded a bit and touched up.*This was late last night while I'm busy working on a million things:

            Her: "Why don't you sand and paint those bay-view windows tonight?"

            Me: "Nah, I'll do them after he leaves."

            Her: "You painted the stairwell trim last night, why not fix the bay-view windows while you're at it?* Why is every suggestion I make disregarded?"

            Me: "The stairwell trim has never been painted.* If I do it now and make some mistakes in a rush, the painter is just going to paint over the mistakes later.* The bay-view window trim is already painted, it just needs touch ups.* It can be fixed without getting paint close to the walls, so it's not a priority.* I'd rather prioritize the rest of the evening getting*furniture moved away from the walls, dust, straighten things*up, etc so he can work."

            Her: "Oh, that makes sense."

            We have this same discussion about priorities on a regular basis.* When the painter was coming to do the estimate weeks ago I wanted to clean up the house before he came so it wasn't such a mess.* The wife decided that was a good time to sort through an old box of kids clothes that had been stored away in the laundry room...the painter wasn't even going near the laundry room.

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            • We’ll never truly understand them.

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              • One night last week while I was at work, my wife watched Fast Times At Ridgemont High for the first time. When I got home she was telling me about it and asked if I knew who Phoebe Cates was. I explained to her that I was 22 when the movie came out and definitely knew about her. My wife then said, "Holy cow she was cute! I've never had any desire to be with another woman, but damn, I'd do her!" So, I've been unable to focus or get any work done since. :-)
                Winners see success and want to climb up to its level. Losers see success and want to drag it down to their own.

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                • Originally posted by Bishop2b5 View Post
                  One night last week while I was at work, my wife watched Fast Times At Ridgemont High for the first time. When I got home she was telling me about it and asked if I knew who Phoebe Cates was. I explained to her that I was 22 when the movie came out and definitely knew about her. My wife then said, "Holy cow she was cute! I've never had any desire to be with another woman, but damn, I'd do her!" So, I've been unable to focus or get any work done since. :-)

                  Sir, I think you're looking for the "Wives and the Awesome Things They Say" thread.


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                  • Originally posted by ulukinatme View Post


                    Sir, I think you're looking for the "Wives and the Awesome Things They Say" thread.

                    I don't think the search function works on this site. In all of these years, I've never been able to find that thread.

                    In case you see this, still love you dear!

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